_of Being A Procrastinator

"My Current Dream".

  I've been wanting to write food entries about Chili's and Madam Kwan's and a Beastly movie entry. But I am too lazy I have been having (what we called) the blogger's block. It is similar to the writer's block, with the added element of being missing in action (MIA) for many many weeks to come.

  And since it is the Internet, you may find it very hard (EXTREMELY, even) to locate my whereabouts. Which makes it cool, as long as I keep away from Facebook/Twitter/Myspace. Yikes.

The Top 4 Ways I Would Try to Stop A Serial Killer

I shall try to do a Nuffnang contest-turned-post today.

(pictures around here are courtesy of (yet again) Natalie Dee. I realize that I've been "using" their cartoon pictures quite frequently these days. Must be because I love the concept too much...)

~The Top 4 Ways...To Stop A Serial Killer

1. Bring in the "Cool-as-hell-policewoman-with-sunglasses".

 

  Every place (which worth something valuable) must have, at least, ONE policewoman. Now, I am NOT being sexist. There's a reason for this; a serial killer may be a guy, a lady or even...

...a toddler.

  So, who else is more suitable than a policewoman? Read between the lines: A face that launches a thousand ships, 倾国倾城 etc etc.

2. Must Have Killer Weapons/Machines/Pets.

  Every person in the world (even serial killers) has their own childhood memories. A cotton candy to bribe, kill or even insult a serial killer would be an efficient way to stop him/her.

  Something deadlier than a cotton candy machine would be...

...a killer pet dinosaur.

  It is better than a pet dog or a pet cat, as it bites worse than the two former animals. But hey, when you simply cannot get some dinosaurs into your hands, you would just have to resort to...

3. Force The Serial Killer to Swallow Poisonous Pills.

  In fact, you don't have to be so particular about which pills to use. Any pills would be sufficient, at least when taken in an overdose quantity.

When all fails, fret not. At the very least...

4. Let Him or Her Go/Be Alone.

  Wait... What???!!! After all these while, you seriously thought I will ask you to be patient and let nature takes its own course? Of course not. What I meant was this:

  Every thing in the world has its own fate/destiny. So, if your serial killer is such a bad-ass, rest assured that 冥冥之中(or fate, as we called it), the serial killer will be brought to justice in its own unique way. Even if it is an ordinary way to die, it sure is deadly. 

As I have said before, it is a Nuffnang contest. 

Details are all here.

[Update]: I've tried commenting on the Nuffnang page, but it did not work. Must be because they use "FB plugin" now, too bad then. Sigh~~~

_of Wanted - A Guy Who...

p.s. to myself: Make this post comprehensible, unlike this here.

~Wanted...

...in the form of this...

~A guy...

...DEFINITELY without the cigarette...(and no play of words or names here, Q.L.).

 

~who satisfies the requirements below:

1.  Doesn't have the kind of hair the person on the left has.

- Fashion is one thing, hair is another. No matter how many times The Wanted Guy says his hair is born-thinned or slightly flattened, I don't buy it.

- I recommend The Wanted Guy to buy Burt's Bees Volumizing Shampoo instead.

2.  Seriously NOT a vegan.

- Being vegetarian is good for other people, not me.

- I never like lamb, I've said it before. But that does not mean I approve of The Wanted Guy to be a total vegan; in other words, no meats, no seafood and no eggs.

- I cannot live without scrambled eggs. :(

3.  Thinks a complete meal for lunch is Ferrero Rocher/chocolate mud cake/egg tarts.

- Or three altogether.

- And while we are at it...

4.  ...thinks of dinner differently: something bought in a box, or better, as a takeaway from a restaurant.

- I cook at times. 

- I repeat, at times. 

5.   Doesn't criticize/make fun of/detest plus-size women.

- Maybe The Wanted Guy has a six-pack, Jacob-kind-of body.

- Maybe The Wanted Guy is healthier than many people.

- But that doesn't qualify The Wanted Guy to make fun of us.

6. Has the same terrible, unhealthy eating habits like I do.

- Which includes, potato fries, deep-fried chicken skin, Coke, Korean ramen noodles, fried mee, and The Chicken Rice Shop's chicken rice.

- It's funny how the above sentence relates mostly to...

7. ...chicken. 

- Which The Wanted Guy doesn't have to be.

- Enough that The Wanted Guy the common sense to wear thick clothes in European countries (for example, Stansted UK) and not here.

- Since someone who keeps wearing scarfs/shawls/knitwear (for a guy, that is) is either:

(a) wants to copy my style.

(b) wants to copy Q.L.'s style.

(c) dreams of being in a country where it has four seasons in a year.

8.  Likes I am Number 4.

- Hahahahaha. 

- A sense of humour is the one characteristic that we (the females) are attracted to. Remember that, The Wanted Guy.

9. Is cool.

- As defined by me.

- Has nothing to do with ice-creams.

And last but not least... 

...which sums up The PERFECT Wanted Guy very nicely. :p

  Of course, when one is wanted, there must be a reward/prize for the wanted person.

I present to thee...

...which unfortunately, IS NOT ME.

Gotcha! :P

p.s.: All cartoons above are courtesy of Natalie Dee, except the Wanted poster.


p.p.s.: Happy 137th birthday to Harry Houdini. Know him? He is the sole reason we keep seeing David Blaine performing death-defying magic tricks...

...and the reason why mice in our house are a lot smarter than us.

 

_of Food Escapade (Pavilion-Related)

  Not that I think of my exciting Food Journey something that is dumb or stupid (which, apparently, is the meaning of "escapade" in Oxford Dictionary.) And since I am extremely jammed right now (with another Defamation essays - previous entry here, when can I get over them???), I will just show pictures. As promised in here, albeit pics-loaded only. Bear with me, dear people.

_of SnowFlake:

The yam soy-ice.

The peanut tohua.

  I will have to admit, Q.L. and I are more crazy when we deal with Snowflake desserts. Insanity beyond recognition, I believe. Here are the proofs:

The drinks.

The "more drinks".

  Before you guys start chasing us with spikes and nails and hammers around, I need to clarify one thing: this is a-few-weeks' supply. Now is the 3rd week and we still have some left. In the fridge.

_of Manhattan Fish Market:

The quad delights.

The flaming prawns.

The mojito.

The tropical breeze.

The ice-cream brownie.

The err... half-full seafood chowder.

The empty prawn olio.

  The only thing that we didn't get to finish in the above pictures is the oysters. I like oysters. Q.L. doesn't. So, if Q.L. didn't finish them, it is forgivable. Instead, when I wouldn't even want to touch them, you could know there is something wrong there, couldn't you?

  Just in case you really couldn't, here's a hint: They are slimy.

Ewww.

_of Tarbush Express:

The napkin.

The shawarna chicken.

  Q.L. ordered the briyani lamb, too. But she finished it rather quickly, that is why I couldn't snap a picture of it. The grilled-chicken-rolled-up-in-a-pita-bread was delicious, the pita bread was thin (Q.L. was surprised of this, I don't know why) and the chicken was flavourful. Oh, the briyani rice was a bit heavily-flavoured to me, the spices were overwhelming.

_of Korean's Sam Sam stall in the Food Court:

The bimbim bap.

The glass noodles. With rice.

  For your information, Q.L. and I didn't finish these two dishes. They were plain. I cooked better glass noodles dish than it, and Q.L. tasted traditional/original flavour bimbim bap in their country last year. So yeah, we are qualified to criticize the dishes.

_of Little Wok:

The chicken wing fried rice. The Cantonese kuey tiaw. The fried yee mee (not pictured).

  The reason why you couldn't see some of the dishes is not the same as above. We couldn't bear to finish them. I am sorry to say, the dishes were pathetic. 

Too harsh, I know. But that is because we paid for the foods ourselves with cold, hard cash. (Somehow, the sentence is translated into: "Both of us are not famous, thus no one would ever want to invite us to review their dishes.")

p.s.: You can see the briyani lamb in the last picture. Look closely, it's the one inside the container where all left was the bones. That is how good the lamb is. To Q.L., that is. I never like lamb.

_of "Psst... Let Me Tell You A Secret..."

  This is Q.L...

...as normal as a human can be.

  This is Q.L...

...without her shell on.

Hahahahahahhaha.

p.s.: For those of you who cannot understand what this post is about, I don't blame you. Where else can you see an Unshelled Tortoise around these days????

  And don't ask me to Google one.

Okay. I cannot resist.

  It's not even cute. Or funny.

_of Review of One Not-Qualified Movie Critic And A Ghost Story

  After much tug-o-war between Q.L. and I, we finally managed to catch up with some movies that we wanted to see before they are taken off the screen.

Though I can see that you readers are aching to guess which one is Q.L., I will not allow it. This is because, the moment you guess Q.L. correctly, you will know the other one represents me.

Without further delay, I present to thee...

"The Review of One Not-Qualified Movie Critic"

1. Black Swan

  First, let's take a look at its conventional traditional pre-modernised poster look.

You are looking at the correct poster, trust me. It really doesn't look like Natalie Portman, I know. But hey, what can we do? Blackmail them?

 And now, we shall look at the poster that they used for Oscar.

One of the posters, I mean.

 

  And like usual, I will give a very me-rating.

Rating: Watch it if you are feeling bored and naughty. Ah-hem.

  One thing to be sure, this movie is really not for those who are under 18 years of age (for that matter, I don't think it should be allowed for 21-year-old students, too). I was so sure FINAS or GSC (at the very least) would cut some of the incriminating scenes, but surprisingly, they did not. Which makes me wonder, if a movie endorses Art as its main theme, it would not be censored even if it is UNRATED. Right? Makes me want to make some unfair comparison between the movie with (hmmm...) Jennifer's Body? Nah... No one watches it. Let's say, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. :p

  Q.L. and I were very much disappointed. We were anticipating this Oscar-winning actress to bring some hindsight about Art-Thriller into our lives. However, we were much more disturbed by her self-mutilation acts (which include tearing own skin, cutting fingernails until bleeding and turning into a black swan in order to perform in a ballet theater show). 

  It says, the movie is all about "The pursuit of perfection". I say, it is a movie about a person, when you take ballet out of her life, who is nothing but a mere shadow walking on Earth. *ceh. Dramatic pulak.*

  I know. The above sentence sounded like something taken out straight from the scene in Lord of the Rings.

But, on a happier note, I notice one great resemblance...

Does anyone, other than me, see this lady having some striking resemblance to Aishwarya Rai?

2. Devil

  A very long-overdue review, I know. But we just bought the CD.

   Like the weird persons that Q.L. and I are, the movie invites the wrong kind of issues for discussion.

Like this.

I was joking.

  If you really want to know, after the movie ended, we went on to discuss about God (Belief in God vs. In God We Trust), Life and Death (as we know it), atheists (scientists who believe in Science and those who believe both in God and Aliens, like Stephen Hawking) and other stuffs I cannot remember.

  To put it plainly, M. Night Shyamalan provoked us to discuss what is God's plan for humanity.

Yes, we did that.

3. Sini Ada Hantu (Here Got Ghosts)

Yes, there is something wrong with your eyes. I did not upload an "old, winking, smiling star".

 :p

One of my faves (as far as this post goes).

  It is one thing when directors make scary movies with ridiculous plots for entertainment, it is another thing for directors to combine unique Malaysian beliefs and make them into scary movies. In this case, James Lee managed to do the another thing and he should be applauded for the effort. Though the storyline (the three parts) was familiar to us (and might make the story a bit boring), but his tendency to NOT follow any Thai, Indonesian or Singaporean scary movies is (to sum it up) "pretty cool".

  All in all, "me likey this movie lah!"

Extra: A Ghost Story

*screeching laugh sounds, crying babies, cats meow-ing (err...)*

Credit goes to Q.L. who told me this story, and she has a blog. (Just saying.)

  It happened one particular night. I was in my room and everyone else was asleep. Then come one time when I couldn't hold it any longer (What couldn't possibly hold any longer????). 

  I had to go to the bathroom. When I was in the bathroom/toilet, somebody knocked on a door and I heard sounds in the kitchen. I thought it was my parents. But what were my parents doing in the kitchen at midnight? They couldn't possibly be hungry, we ate foods which could amount to nearly a week supply for dinner that night. (Here, I need to clarify one thing; they DID NOT eat a week-supply of food, it was an exaggeration.) 

  To cut things short, when I opened my door, a dark shadow walked past me... (I need to clarify another thing; the "dark shadow" has nothing to do with the "Black Swan" mentioned above.) 

  And because Q.L. was annoyed that I kept on  interrupting her story, she didn't finish it. Sufficient to say, it made me had nightmares for a few days. ARGHHHH!!!!!

I think it is my turn to bludgeon her until she cannot remember a thing.

p.s. In case you are wondering, after Q.L. ended her "not-finished story", she went to sleep for 14 hours. Again.