My sister once told me, "Let's find a new home, both you and I, so that we can live freely and happily. Let's try to achieve this dream before we die." I will admit that I was shocked to hear her last sentence. She also told me, now that her friend is away, she no longer has anyone to turn to.
It reminds me, we all have trust issues. Friends, I do not have many. Now that my close friend is gone, I have no one to turn to. How about family, you may ask? Anybody who knows me knows that my family is very unreliable. At times. Most times.
I will admit, I miss my friend. I miss the feeling where you can trust somebody without questioning their motives. I miss the times when you can just call your friend and complain about your life, your problems, everything without wondering whether you are interrupting their lives. (Yup, I was a bitch).
Funnily enough, some close friends I had are more practical (?), in the ways where they will avoid you because you have no job. Yes, jobs. I have no idea that this has become the main criteria to befriend people nowadays.
Meanwhile, my dear little sister keeps reminding me that people will only turn to you when they want some benefits for themselves. Is it true? Why does life have to be so complicated all of a sudden?
Sincerity, that is what I am looking for. I do not want people who are only looking for you when they need something. I do not need people who want to be close to you just because you are so freaking good at helping them.
I miss people who remind me of sincerity. Of being sincere wanting to become your friend. Of being sincere in knowing about you, your life and your inner self. Of being sincere in telling you that hey, maybe you want to tone down on that attitude / behaviour / bitchiness a level because that is not you.
Life, why do you give me a lemonade and expect me to turn it into a lemon?