365 Days of Law ---> The Life Involved: _of Emo Time (Possibly When Reading a Novel)

I know, I've promised that my previous entry would be the last "emo" entry that I've posted. However, sometimes a girl is only a human, and a human will only do as much.

Allow me to digress a tiny bit. While ~~leafing~~/~~scanning~~/~~skipping through~~ reading a Chinese novel, I've came across this Preface (do you actually believe I've "accidentally" came across a Preface? I have to admit, I do have this weird disease of reading from front to back, line by line - including the Publisher Info.)


No wonder people say I look like this.

But I never believe them, coz I prefer this.

So, back to the main point. The Chinese novel I mentioned earlier is this...


Yes, I know. It looks OLD. What to do? I am very 老派.

_of the preface I was talking about...

如何忘掉一个人？
如何忘掉一个人？
在午夜，在静到唯有听见自己心跳声的时刻。
如何忘掉爱上一个人的感觉？
在他的影子、他的笑容、他的每一个挑眉与耸肩，早己占满脑海的时候？
如果说爱情是一场重感冒，那微微荡漾的晕眩感夹杂著又热又涨的心悸，究竟该服用什么样的药才治得好？
醒著时，想的第一个人是他，睡著前，最后惦念的也是他，反覆把手机里关于他的讯息和手机号码删了又存、存了又删……浓烈的情感和绝望的理智不断在拔河，一次又一次，自尊却总是输得一塌胡涂。
几度思忖彷徨徘徊，几回想方设法，用尽所有一切合理的理由和借口在他面前出现，就为了瞥著他的一抹影子，然后，惶惶然的心这才踏实了、温暖了。
过后，甜甜的滋味里还是止不住泛出酸酸的凄凉起来，因为知道这不过是一场爱慕、一种暗恋、一朵默默绽放的心事，一颗投入湖中注定悄无声息消失的小石子。
花开无人问，花香无人闻。
然后，终于懂了昔年黛玉葬花的心情。
潇湘妃子葬花时悲咏的岂止脆弱无依失颜色的落花？
还有天下女子匆匆易逝的美好年华，以及心头那一腔千回百转萦绕缠绵酸甜难禁的情丝。
世上男子皆东风，无意招惹却乱纷纷。
如何忘掉一个人？
当你心知肚明，这场邂逅爱隋的意外，只是个美丽的错，永远只是一相情愿的单行道，永远不会有交集，永远没有开始，也永远没有结局。
如何忘掉一个人？
如何，把心情收拾得干干净净，就像从来没有发生过？
天空在未曾遇见他之前，还是那样平静的蓝，没有任何惊心动魄、怦然心动的颜色。
阳光在未曾遇见他之前，还是那样轻轻的暖，不带任何灼热忐忑、缠绵纹身的滚烫。
如何忘掉他？就像忘掉自己原来还有心动的本能，忘掉原来自己还有渴望拥有的感觉？
原该注定静静地、无声掉落的叶子，倘若没有那一缕无意的清风纠缠，命运也将不会如此激烈地盘旋、飞舞、飘荡，不知身将何往。
如何忘掉一个人？
害怕的是，忘了他，或许原来生命中可能出现的彩虹，也将在雨后乍然一现，旋即淡淡褪去、苍白、消失。
然后，你开始会怀疑，自己可曾真正记得、恋上、爱过了一个人？
而他永远不会知道，他究竟错过了什么。

-- Excerpt taken from the novel 媒人请进门 by 蔡小雀

Before you people come and bash me around the head, let me point out that this novel is available online here or here - for those who want to read the whole novel in full and with bigger font size than what is given above.

You may now ask, "what is so-big-deal about it?" This, Young Sirs and Madams, is how I feel these days. I am sure you had this kind of feeling...


...some time in the past.


...or some time in the future.

No? Well. You may just think of it as an academic question.

_of How to describe the feeling (or to translate the preface above)?

How can you forget someone? When all that is in your mind is the memory of his presence, his smile - every slight expression that he had? He is the first image in your mind when you are awake; he is also the last image you would recall before you go to sleep... (and the preface goes on...)

"But most importantly, how can you forget someone? When all your memory is filled with him; too strong until you cannot seem to remember how was it before he entered your life.

How can you forget someone? When you know deep down that all the things have ended, and yet you still cannot shake the tiniest flicker of hope away.

How can you forget someone? When you are constantly reminded of his presence, him being around you - even though with someone new.

And tell me, how can you forget someone? When everything that he does remind you so much of everything in the past - the past which was all about him and you."

-- Not within the preface, these italic words are mine.

Sigh.